SantaCorp Pleads Case For Bailout

Posted on December 19, 2008
Filed Under Uncategorized |

Let ‘em eat cake, I say. Santa has a lot of chutzpah to fly around in a private sleigh while the rest of us rubes make due with commercial coach. The old Santa model just isn’t efficient… how can you be competitive delivering on just one day of the year when I can order from Amazon year round?

“You might say it’s a perfect snowstorm,” said Merrill Lynch analyst Jennifer Rothstein. “The youth consumer market is demanding more for less, at a time when the government and courts have forced SantaCorp to lower its ‘good list’ credit rating standards. They face increased non-union competition from the East Pole, and huge increases in fuel prices for magical reindeer flying hay. It’s a hard sell for the investment community.”

[From iowahawk: SantaCorp Pleads Case For Bailout]

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